immitis.

early days off work always gets me thinking. maybe i am turning into a stern fellow. the phone can't stop ringing, it doesn't understand that i am off work now and it should stop with the work related talk.

poor gem.

i really pushed her buttons. she changed her tone half-way through the conversation. but i really wasn't in the mood to discuss the buying preference of the hospital people.

i think i am becoming a meaner person and somehow that saddens me. i snap easy these days. and i am not so flexible when talking to people; yes is yes, no is no. i prefer the younger less experienced me without the big ego, that was willing to learn and willing to swallow pride.

i think i was happier too. poorer no doubt but way happier.

new random resolution: being nice. regardless, whether it's my fault or their fault, i'll be nice and accomodating but firm. today is be-nice day.

start by calling gem later to apologise.

anyway, was spacing out during work earlier yesterday and wrote this:

***

For the Woman Who Draws Wings

I imagine you at your table, surrounded by jars,
wrecking yourself over the carcass of these wings, building

transparent sections one at a time,
with that twig of a pen,

its end cut so sharp
your finger supplies the ink.

In spite of this, your voodoo
will never carry these into flight.

Body-less, they will not stand
against the wind

and will spend their strength here, protesting
in weak flaps, grounded in plain paper.

Something within their skeletal
torment must give you pleasure.