just write.

i am still sick. while delirious and somewhat high on the little yellow pills, i attended cy's new book launch at booksactually. managed to take a heap of photos for the day, with pretty nice candid shots i must say. (ego ego) so if u know his site, go see.

mental note to self: if sick or delirious, just shut up and look intelligent rather than embarrass self. sigh. i never learn. :(

cy's new book is so different isn't it?

oh, fyi there's another launch on the 18th of aug. at select.

***

qlrs is back up with the new issue. it is reassuring to know that it is, at least for oct, gonna carry on. it is interesting to note, that while by now everyone has put arthur yap's passing to the back of their minds, and all literary busybodies (me included/esp) were eagerly anticipating t. hsin min's reply to that newpaper writeup about qlrs, i thought it was pretty cool of him to say something about arthur yap's passing first before dealing with the writeup in a quick, short paragraph. in fact, i blush in shame.

i am in this issue of qlrs, and the latest issue of blackmail press, (sweet how they came out a day apart from each other) and i was gonna head down to the office yesterday mid-afternoon to print my latest attempts at submission for snail-mailing out, but somehow decided against it by not bringing my ibook along. procrastination has somehow gotten the best of me today. but did get some real work work done so am pretty proud of self. :) hee.

tell me something: why do you submit?

i am curious.

***
reading: rereading minsk - lavinia greenlaw
listeningto: its too late - carol king


***

disrespecting the poets.

this is crap. i am crap. literally. damn stomach problem aint going away. this is ridiculous. am not suppose to get stomach crap and i am not even sure why i got stomach crap. i mean come on, i was eating everything in hcm city, even the roadside stalls with the suspect meat sandwiches (which is excellent really) and i was good. but now here i am, in spore, home and out of no where i get stomach crap.

spent entire day in toilet bombing the crap outta several major cities. for company, i dragged in mark strand's selected poems, the but anthology and billy collins' sailing alone around the room. so if you are mr. m.s. or mr. b.c. or one of the people on the but anthology (there's a pun here, but i dun wanna talk about it) and you're wondering why the day smells like crap on your end, now you know.

yesyes, i washed my hands.

i am in a bad mood and i can't sleep.

***
listening to: oh, you dun wanna hear.
reading: billy colins - sailing alone around the room.


***

seed reading.

got a preview of cy’s new not-yet-for-sale book, Like a Seed with its Singular Purpose, eh actually i have the whole book, hee.

its such a pretty book. not sure if ffurious did it, but i like it as compared to most of the rest of his books.

it was a quick read, plus, had to get away from the house chores, so i disappeared to the nearby 24/7 macs to devour this. it took a short while to adjust myself to the noise of mundane lians and bengs (chio tally: 1 maybe cute lian only) but i soon got into it. its so well arranged. and i think its the best one since the orbit one. its quite different but still recognisably cy.

and i shall stop here. i'll pick this up after his launch of the book at the end of the month. so go buy it once its out.

the death of mind fuck day

mind fuck day came and went yesterday. supposedly if i remembered right it should have been her birthday yesterday.

thats the thing though, i am starting to forget. which should be a good thing, but if i indulge myself and go right into this, i wonder, what will i be like when and if i give this hankering up? i've been a puppy for so long i forget what i am really like.

anyway, as mind fuck days go, yesterday was a non event. my eventual amnesia would make for the best birthday present she would ever want from me. but while that certainly looks promising i still have a wee bit more to go before i give up all the memories.

so for now, the best thing i could give her for yesterday, is my continued non-participation in her life.

oh, well, happy supposed birthday, b.

chao.

whoohoo. am home. as in vietnam, ho chi minh city. oh i miss this place so much. more later. :)

edit: 9.7.2006, somewhere in substation.

finally decided to update about this trip. well for one, it was a really short trip. reached there on friday back on the sunday morning flight to singapore. basically a work trip for our new venture in vietnam and to scout the ground and see whether it was worth setting up an outpost in ho chi minh. am so gonna envy whoever we send there for the permanent posting if this venture goes through. becoz whoever it is, it can't be me! :( damn.

ho chi minh is messy. everybody who goes there will take their hat to the traffic. it was crazy ten years ago, crazy in my post army days in 2000 and still still crazy today. i have pictures somewhere in my phone. i love the craziness though. something about being born and bred in orderly singapore probably instilled this longing for a little chaos. the rest confess they can't take the weaving madness, i on the other was just getting used to it. thank god i dun drive though. the horn isnt used so much as a frustrated fist-waving tool but more as a "hey i am here" announcement speaker. everybody adjusts instantly, without checking mirrors and such. traffic there is a daily miracle.

the people are friendly. not in your face, smile because you are a tourist friendly but a genuine interest in being a nice friendly person. its not fake. that kind of friendliness is really hard to find.

i know i could so live there.

sigh. miss it so much.

oh, spied a beautiful side table i might wanna buy... hmmm...