decadence.

back from dinner with another bunch of guys. compared to them, i am a verifiable angel. one of them is complaining that his current love interest already has a bf, which has me remarking "as opposed to you already well-married with kiddies and all?" to which his answer was:

thats different.

how different, i have no idea.

the rest of the evening was spent with me listening attentively to them discussing the "quality" of chinese ktvs and their, eh... routine activities. i know this is not the idle boasting of pre-adulthood ns-boys, because, they are too old and because i've been "out" with them and their assorted "friends".

let me see; so far, i have been asked to take over as companion to one of their "friends" because i am a decent guy. (i cannot argue with that, comparatively, i am a bloody saint), to be interviewer to select the cutest english speaking chinese aspirant as an admin executive and having to defend the benefits of staying moderately moral. (i lost, naturally.)

i like to say only my reaction to overdose of alcohol (results in either me falling immediately into a deathly slumber or me getting violently sick) has saved me from waking up in the morning to a bad female decision. many many times.

however, i do wonder sometimes whether that, is a good or bad thing.

i have been invited to shanghai somewhere early next yr by this bunch. i've already survived 2 chinese trips eh...barely keeping to my odd notions of morality. we shall see with this one.

other than this, i should be heading out to vietnam, on a business mission, somewhere in jan or immediately after i complete the necessary research. i am childishly eager when it comes to vietnam. it has been years since i was there as a rothmans (read: dunhill cigarettes) intern. i have always missed it.

vietnam is not all about the war. and saigon has moved on. very much so.

this is the month of plans.

on another odd note, have been ordered to put up in mandarin hotel by oddly enough, my own parents on dec 3-5 in light in them going for a short holiday. apparently i am not to be trusted with keeping the house in order. so should anyone be looking for me, i shall be in either marina mandarin or meritus mandarin, counting coupons and expending my free-stay privileges.

in view of that, i must say, sometimes, work has its perks.

itunes on shuffles is playing keane. how very painful, not only musically, but because i bought this particular cd with b, on one of our so-called illict outings.

as a dedication to these decadent but delightful friends of mine, i wrote this awhile back:

***

Shanghai, a Morning Event

She lay there, a dead thing.
My source of heat
coiled between the sheets
reeking of vodka,

amongst the other things she took
to anaesthetise herself.
Was I even any good?

I contemplated
taking a knife
to that skin, dive into that heart
for checks.

She stirred, a thin moan escaped,
she surrendered
all her available options to me.
The small naked man,
sitting there, bent on decisions:
What's next?

I finally settled
on calling up for breakfast.
Today, I asked for an egg, soft-boiled
with its yolk heart
full, without cracks,
till I decided it was time.

***

listening to : the band - out of the blue. the guy who did the vocals for this track, rick danko, has passed away, so listening to him singing this is an odd feeling.
reading: an interesting email offer that is appealing to the narcissistic me, writing wise. cyril, i forgot to say this just now but thankyou you. :)

___