the ban and the mention of death.

been extremely busy these days.

oddly enough, still managed to worm some time out to take a much needed break from work last fri till mon. oh, and the sat before that (which i spent blissfully wasting water in meritus mandarin).

mandarin was fun. am big fan of bubble-bathing. :)

by my colleagues’ measurement, i should be fresh and eager to approach work after such a long (in the co. anything beyond a day is long.) break. but i am not.

well, ok, i am not so weary anymore, and my infamous quick temper has cooled a wee bit, yelled only at one poor guy this week. but other than that, no change in what i feel about work and life in general. in fact, i have more questions.

funny time to do: ask your closest colleague the following question: “what is the point of being alive?” and suddenly see him/her become concerned that you are turning suicidal.

disclaimer: i am not suicidal.

other irrelevant news:

* one of the blogs that i regularly tune in to has a sparse but awful poem posted up. considering she is one of the saving grace of the “but” anthology, this is a bad showing of her talent. but off-days are to be expected of everyone. no?

* the terminator has terminated williams.

* my description of this year’s tacky xmas lightup has intrigued oxfordian girl, (an old friend of mine) so have kindly acceded to snapping pics of fugly orchard road to send to her, for the primary purpose of ruining her taste. so any of u who has any pics of this year xmas lights could u send them to my email? i want the one-wing birds and the drummer ones.

* robert lowell’s imitations not my thing.

* went zoukout! solo! free! (perks of being a pioneer electronics partner) met assorted friends by accident despite 18,000 strong crowd! got commented as stuck-up by random bikini-clad chick while queuing so folks, being shy is so not a good quality. :( . tried to stay till the end, but the rain spoiled my mood, am not a fan of wet sand. so according to gaston, i was one of those pose-ers who got found out by the rain. (of course i am pose-er! it was already 5ish in the morning, i am 28 and very bad at dancing) got home by 6.18am, end result? comatose next day.

* electrico has 2 good songs. yes, 2.

so that’s that.

***

met a troubled friend for tea, where she asked me whether “the ban” imposed onto moi by b was effective. for her benefit and reading pleasure, and of course, because i am such a masochist and dweller of things that are bad for my health, i shall examine le ban below:

how to: persons involved are to have no physical, electronic, postal, etc etc, whatsoever contact for a period of forever. as in a “very very very x 10000 long time (counted in terms of years)” forever.

pro. no. 1: time does numb everything.

con no. 1: numb does not equal zero pain.

pro. no.2: you can get used to the numbed pain.

con no.2: you can get addicted to this numbed pain.

effectiveness: make the best out of a bad thing, and try to move on (give or take a couple yrs eh.)

notes:
1. do not, i repeat, do not listen to don mclean after being “banned”. d.m. should carry a “warning: suicide-worthy songs within” sign on each cd.
2. you will find yourself treasuring every little thing the other party has given you. i am still carrying the wallet b gave me, despite it being held up by staples in several parts.
3. alone time suddenly become very attractive periods of time.
4. obsession inevitably sets in for one or both parties.

happy banning.

ok, that’s that.

***

went to my primary school classmate, ashley’s wedding yesterday, first kena summon-ed by the dinner, then kena summon-ed by becky for the gift. feeling broke. :(

it got weird-surreal when the guys at the table, along with a talkative mr. koh (our fav pri. school teacher, yes, he's an old but hardy fellow) started discussing a friend of mine’s death by suicide. singapore is such a small rock that everyone is linked to each other in some odd way. in this case, they know adel’s dad.

i wanted to make some excuse and head to the toilet while they discussed the reasons for her death, but being butt-heavy, i just sat there feeling uncomfortable, acting nonchalant. i think any discussion of her reasons for jumping is so unnecessary. the girl is long dead. why discuss this at a wedding?

haven’t popped by to visit her niche for some time. think i shall pay her a little visit this weekend. which = church going.. hmmm...

***

finally,

reminder to all friends, i don’t have that much time for visiting, so do me a big favour and stay alive.

***

listening to: jealous guy – john lennon.
reading: simic’s wedding in hell

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